Yesterday, I went on a 5 mile run. It was 45º here but there was a cold dampness in the air that made it feel brutal. It was cloudy and felt like it could start raining at any moment. Not a great motivator. However, I had the urge to run and because we are in our rainy season, I have to take these moments when I can.
I never thought I was athletic enough to be a runner but here I am. Craving that movement. I remember the exact moment that I found peace in running. It was the day after my mother had passed away, almost 5 years ago. That day I decided to buy a better pair of running shoes. They were a pair of neon coral Nike running shoes. I remember sitting on the stairs of the house I was living in at the time while I laced up my shoes. I was emotionally hungover from learning about and dealing with my mother’s passing. My roommate, Dave, was talking to me about when his father lost his father. It’s weird how we only discuss death when a death has occurred. For that day, nothing was fluid. I remember it more like snippets of a dream that jump from scene to scene.
I remember that I HAD to run that day and how important it felt in that moment. I now realize that running has become therapy for me. A moment for my mind to wander and explore my emotions and thoughts. I’ve cried on so many runs. Tears of sadness and tears of joy. There’s something wonderful about marrying my breath with the rhythmic motions of my body. It’s only then that my mind can focus on sorting through my thoughts.
Current pair. Really miss those coral shoes.